


We Could Be

by loveandallthat



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 18:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6622333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveandallthat/pseuds/loveandallthat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dex and Nursey start dating.</p><p>It takes a while for their behavior to actually catch up to this fact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Could Be

Dex and Nursey start dating.

****

Chowder thinks it’s amazing that they even get to this point, honestly.  It might be his fault; he was the one who invited both of them to hang out in his room, forced them to share a bufferless space because he wanted to encourage communication, whether or not it would remain civil.

****

As it turns out, they had a lot to say to each other.  It had been simple for Chowder to get to the root of the problem. All he had to do was ask _why_.

****

_Why_ does it bother you what Dex has on his laptop? he had asked Nursey.

****

_Why_ does it get to you so much when Nursey tells you to chill? he had asked Dex.

****

The answer had been both of them going red.

****

“He just _gets_ to me,” Dex had said quietly.

****

_Oh._

****

Chowder had bitten his lip to avoid commenting.

****

It shouldn’t have been surprising, but Nursey’s eyes were wide and his mouth was agape anyway.  He pulled himself together enough to say, “Yeah, um, same here.”

****

It had been impossible for Dex to not see elements of his own confession showing in Nursey’s.

****

Knowledge of the implications of Dex’s words had crackled through the air; the three of them were on edge, strings pulled taught.

****

Nursey had been the one to break the silence.  “So, like, what do we . . . _do_ now?”

****

Too entranced by the gleam in Nursey’s eyes, Dex had waited until Chowder spoke up in his place.

****

“You go out?” he had suggested.

****

\---

****

So yeah, they're dating now.

****

Dating in college, as it turns out, is a lot like being friends in college.  

****

They agreed in Chowder’s room, as his suggestion had been the most logical in this situation, that they were technically official.  They decide not to tell anyone else, to deny it if someone asks, but nobody even notices.  Because what they do (grabbing dinner in the dining halls and studying together at the library, where someone else from the team usually shows up and joins them) is normal.  Basically the only difference is that instead of being confrontational and angry with each other, they’re just awkward.

****

Then one day, Dex decides they should go to the dining hall on the other side of campus.

****

It’s different.

****

They’re doing literally the same thing that they would have done, but there are constant reminders that they’re being intentionally secretive.  The different layout has Nursey lost several times before they even sit down with their food, and Dex is acutely aware of his own tiredness from having just come from his first class.

****

They eventually sit across from each other, avoiding eye contact over laden plates as they’re surrounded by a new group of students.

****

Nursey slurps his drink loudly, lets his food touch and mix on his plate, even though he has a weird combination of tacos and Chinese food.  He takes another bite from a tortilla that looks to be at least half full of orange chicken, and Dex manages to keep himself from commenting.  He focuses on his sandwich instead, but it’s mostly gone.

****

A few minutes later, he gets up to get more to drink.  He thinks about asking if Nursey needs something else, but can’t figure out how to do it in a way that doesn’t sound awkward.  It doesn’t seem to bother Nursey, since Dex gets back and he hasn’t even paused.

****

When his sandwich is gone, Dex breaks the silence.

****

“This is weird, right?”

****

Nursey shrugs, swallows most of the food in his mouth.  “It is, but in kind of a good way.”

****

Usually Dex would sigh after a response like that and get mad, try to get a rise out of Nursey. But everything about this feels different.  They haven’t truly talked since they started dating, and it seems weird to even claim that they have been, based on the way they’ve been acting.

****

“Why are we doing this?” Dex asks, and Nursey can probably hear the desperation in his voice.  He looks up from picking at his remaining food.

****

Dex taps his fingers on the table, and he can see Nursey watching him do it.  He reaches for his drink instead, taking a large sip to keep his mouth occupied.  Nursey watches that, too.

****

“Because,” Nursey answers finally, “it could be worth it.”

****

Their entire relationship as it stands is based on their ability to get to each other more than anybody else.

****

And what’s worse is that they _know_ that.

****

“Do you really believe that?”  Dex is quieter than usual.  Nursey has to lean in to catch the question.

****

“You are, without a doubt, the least chill person I have ever met.”  Dex starts to protest, which isn’t an excellent counterpoint, but Nursey continues.  “I don’t always mean that in a bad way!”

****

“Oh, well, thanks then,” Dex replies sarcastically.  He folds his arms across his chest and turns to look out the window, but he can still see Nursey out of the corner of his eye.  Nursey is making a dramatic “no, no, no” hand gesture to try to keep his attention.

****

“No, like, sometimes it’s a good thing.  Sometimes I like it.”  Nursey finally calms down his arms again, which is a relief, but now he’s just folded his hands on the table and is staring down at them.

****

“Oh,” Dex repeats.  He bites the inside of his mouth against any attempts to add more words to this conversation.

****

“That’s why we’re here,” Nursey whispers, like it’s a secret.  “Well,” he corrects, “it’s why I’m here.”

****

It’s hard for Dex to know what to do with his face when he hears this.  Smiling barely manages to win out.  “I don’t know why I’m here,” he confesses, but realizes how it sounds when Nursey’s face falls.  “I just know I want to be,” he amends.

****

“This is a mess,” Nursey points out, like there’s any way Dex might not have realized it yet.

****

They make no moves to get up and leave.  Nursey sticks his legs out so that one of them is resting alongside one of Dex’s.  He leaves it there.

****

They eat in relative silence, but it’s more companionable than any time they’ve ever been together and exchanging words.  Dex only has his dessert left, and Nursey didn’t grab one, so he intentionally only eats half of his piece of cake before passing the rest over.  Nursey smiles at him, seeming completely at ease, and Dex laughs quietly, as if this could ever be simple.  It doesn’t feel enough like progress, so Dex lingers, even when his tray is empty.

****

“Still hungry?” Nursey asks, noticing this.

****

“No.”

****

Nursey looks completely unsurprised by this answer.  He shifts in his seat again, getting comfortable.

****

They stare at each other for a full minute.

****

“Hey,” Nursey interrupts the silence, “we’re really doing this, OK?”

****

Dex doesn’t know how he knew to say that, if his face was that obviously nervous or if Nursey is thinking the same thing.

****

“I know,” he retaliates, defensive.  Nursey’s eyebrows raise, but he doesn’t otherwise respond to the challenge.

****

Nursey follows suit when Dex leans forward,  And suddenly, it’s intimate.  Their feet are touching, Dex can _smell_ Nursey, he can see the freckles on his skin, he feels electricity from how close they are and it’s overwhelming.

****

“You’re infuriating,” Dex whispers. His voice is quiet; they’re so close that anything else feels wrong.

****

When Nursey smirks, it’s like he can hear the response, _I know,_ without any words having actually passed between them.

****

“How can you be so calm about this?”  He doesn’t say chill, can’t say it, but it’s on the tip of his tongue anyway.

****

He doesn’t say, _how can you be so chill about everything?_

****

It’s only half a relief when Nursey doesn’t respond with any criticisms of Dex’s tendencies toward anxiety, toward fighting and pushing.

****

He just answers, “I have a good feeling.”

****

Dex feels warm.  “Right.”

****

It _has_ to be obvious how closely they’re walking when they go to put away their trays, but it’s hard to think about that.

  
  


Sticking to the theme, they decide next to study together at the business library. They’re still on campus, but it’s less likely they’ll run into anyone else from the team.

****

They’re actually both relatively independent when it comes to schoolwork, and their classes don’t overlap at all.

****

It’s nicer than Dex expected to just be able to look up and see someone else being productive or frustrated, running a hand through his hair or tapping a pen lightly on the paper of a notebook.  Nursey moves around a lot in a slow and understated way when he studies.  He shakes his head before he lifts it up and they lock eyes.

****

“We need food,” Nursey decides.

****

“And possibly coffee,” Dex suggests, agreeing completely.

****

“I’ll get it,” Nursey offers.  There’s a coffee shop just across the street; he won’t have to go far, and someone should stay and watch their table.  Dex pulls out his wallet and removes a five, and of course, Nursey waves a hand dismissively.

****

“Just take it,” Dex insists.

****

“It was my idea; I can pay,” Nursey argues.  It makes the anger bubble under Dex’s skin, uninvited.  It’s not like Nursey _means_ to rub it in everyone’s face, how much better off he is than Dex.  

****

So Dex keeps holding out the money, shaking it a little, feeling ridiculous.  He tries to convey what he’s thinking with his expression, so he doesn’t have to use his mouth.  After a few seconds, Nursey reaches over to take the bill, closing his hand unnecessarily, warm around Dex’s as he does so.

****

“I’ll be right back.”

****

Nursey takes longer than anyone should to get coffee and pastries, but that’s to be expected.  Dex actually gets a lot of work done, losing himself in code until he’s snapped out of it by a drink tray dropping in the middle of the table.  A bit of liquid sloshes onto the luckily unoccupied space, into which a bag is immediately placed.

****

Dex watches it all happen without commenting.  “Thanks,” he answers, once Nursey has opened the food.

****

“I definitely promised the girl behind the counter that I would remember which drink was which, and then immediately forgot,” Nursey admits.  He picks one up and tries it, then makes a face.  “Nope, that’s yours; how do you drink that shit?”

****

“You could have just opened the lid and looked at it,” Dex points out.  He’s not really mad about it, more amused than anything else, but he still sees Nursey’s eyes narrow a little at his words.

****

He takes a sip of it anyway, unable to think about anything besides the fact that his mouth was right where Nursey’s had been.  That shouldn’t be weird; the team as a whole doesn’t worry about things like that.

****

And yet.

****

Now that there’s been an interruption, it’s hard to get back to work.  Maybe they were due for a break anyway.  Dex kind of wants to start talking about something, but the only things that come to mind, the only things that they have in common are their friends on the team and hockey in general.  It seems weird to try so hard to escape everyone just to go and talk about them behind their backs, even though that’s not actually why they’re here.

****

“What are you working on?” he asks instead.

****

“Poem,” Nursey answers vaguely, but then he turns his computer to face Dex and shoves it forward so he can read.  Dex steers it away from the napkin-covered coffee spill on the table, and pulls the laptop on top of his textbook.

****

There is indeed a poem at the top of the page, and it looks pretty good to Dex, but what does he know?  At the bottom are a bunch of additional words and similar phrases, like Nursey’s been experimenting, playing around.  He’s commenting before he realizes.

****

“How do you know when you’re done?”

****

He looks up when Nursey laughs at him, and his breath catches a little at the mirth in his eyes.  His pulse speeds up.

****

“No, I’m not laughing at you,” Nursey clarifies, as though Dex had done anything to imply he thought that to be the case.  “Everyone writes differently, but I never know when I’m done.  Sometimes I think I’m done and I come back to it years later and change everything.  It depends.”

****

Dex pushes the laptop back.  “That makes sense.  It’s really good though; I like it.”

****

Nursey snorts.  “Sure.”

****

“No, really.”

****

Their gazes roam over each other’s faces for a moment, Nursey’s searching, Dex’s sincere.  Dex undeniably is drawn to the way that Nursey is biting his lip in concentration.  He hopes against all odds that he’s not projecting when he sees Nursey’s eyes locked onto his mouth, too.  He licks his lips to test his theory, and Nursey knocks his bag off the table.

****

“Thanks,” Nursey says finally.  He looks a little flushed.

****

“Mhmm,” Dex replies, scanning over his work for errors before he moves on to the next part of the problem.  After he’s been working on it for a while, he hears the typing at the other end of the table start up again.

****

Aided by caffeine, Dex finishes his last problem with a sense of satisfaction that has him slamming his book closed, throwing his pencil down on top of it.  It makes Nursey look up, of course, and realize that he’s finished.  He closes his laptop, too.

****

“I’m heading back to my room . . .” Nursey starts.

****

“Oh, OK.”  Dex tries not to sound too disappointed.  It almost certainly doesn’t work.

****

“. . . If you wanted to come with,” Nursey finishes.

  
  


Thirty minutes later, Dex is lying on Nursey’s bed, while Nursey himself sits at his desk.  He’s still working on his poetry assignment, while Dex is finished with all of his work for the night.

****

His whole room smells like cologne, which seems out of place in a frat house--Axe, maybe, would have been normal, but this is something nice.  Only one lamp is on, keeping the room dim and shadowed, causing Nursey’s face to stand out in the glow of his laptop.  He looks deeply invested in what he’s working on until he’s suddenly closing the window containing his work and making his way over to the bed.  Dex is on the side away from the wall, so Nursey just climbs over him, so smooth and agile that their skin barely brushes, and puts himself between Dex and the wall.

****

There isn’t nearly enough room for this to be happening, and Dex’s breathing immediately catches because of the proximity.  This is drastically different than how they usually behave around each other.

****

He turns to look at Nursey, who has thrown an arm over his eyes, and isn’t moving.  It gives Dex a weird, unexpected opportunity to look at him up close.  He follows the line of muscles on Nursey’s arm, resting between them barely an inch away from Dex’s.  His fingers twitch, so he moves to look at Nursey’s shoulders, his neck, down his chest, his abs.  He swallows, and looks at his legs in ridiculous skinny jeans that shouldn’t look so natural on him.  He’s moving his hand before he really thinks about it, but it stops in midair when Nursey takes his other arm off his eyes and turns to look at Dex.

****

His eyes trace from Dex’s outstretched hand back down to his face, and then blurts out, “We should go to dinner.”

****

Dex is asking, “What?” reflexively before he registers the words, then is immediately embarrassed at his own jumpiness.

****

“Dinner,” Nursey repeats, even though he probably figured out at this point that Dex understood.  “You and me?  Off-campus?”

****

It’s hard to think when their faces are this close, when he can see every fleck of color in Nursey’s eyes.  “Yeah,” he stammers.  “Dinner.  Great.”

****

“Great,” Nursey echoes.  “I’m paying though.  Don’t give me that look.  I suggested it, and I’m picking the place.  You get it next time.”

****

He wants nothing more than to argue, but something about their nearness removes the desire.  Besides, _next time._ That means something, something serious.

****

“Fine,” he acquiesces.  Nursey doesn’t seem at all deterred by his lack of enthusiasm, continuing to grin brightly in a way that makes Dex’s stomach flutter, before completely stopping his thought altogether by leaning forward just enough to bring their foreheads against each other.

****

Dex inhales sharply.  This is drastically different from their norm.  To be fair, they should get used to this if they’re really going through with what might just be the craziest plan ever conceived in the Haus: dating.  But he can’t help how his heart races.

****

His hand is on Nursey’s hip without his permission, and he’s _so_ nervous.  Nursey looks like he’s completely at ease, and Dex wonders for a weird second if that’s because it’s his room; Dex is already thinking about exit strategies when he should be enjoying himself.

****

What he’s feeling must be obvious somehow, because Nursey backs off, just a little.  Dex finds himself resisting lightly, ending up turning so that they’re both on their sides facing each other, barely any room between them.  It’s electric.  His hand is still on Nursey.

****

“I am going to look forward to it,” Nursey announces, and Dex thinks, _what_?  But then he remembers; they were talking about dinner.

****

“It better be good,” he taunts, waiting for a response.

****

“With me?” Nursey asks rhetorically.  Dex is just watching him talk.  “With me, it’s always good.”

****

They’re quiet for quite a while, until the stress of the day starts getting to Dex and he finds himself closing his eyes for longer and longer periods of time.

  
  


Waking up in Nursey’s room is definitely something Dex never expected to experience, and now he has to deal with it.  It’s possible he does so poorly, since sneaking out from under Nursey’s arm thrown across his waist, quietly closing the door on his way out, and going back to his room probably isn’t the most considerate plan of all time.

****

For a moment, with the door open to the hallway, letting in light, he can turn back and see Nursey’s face, even more relaxed than when he’s awake, and how his body is now curling into the space that Dex was previously occupying.  Dex squeezes his eyes shut to tear himself away.

****

He can’t get back to sleep once he’s in his own bed, tossing and turning and twisting his sheets around himself before he finally gives up and goes to team breakfast.  Someone asks him where Nursey is, and he glares, shoots back a, “Why would I know?”

****

Chowder gives him blatantly obvious concerned looks throughout the entire meal.  They make his stomach sink so much he no longer feels hungry, and he leaves early for his first class, sits alone in the auditorium for a full fifteen minutes before someone else shows up.

****

His phone chirps with a text from Nursey, _Chowder says you already left team breakfast?_ and he slams it facedown on his desk hard enough that the other early student jumps and turns to look at him.  He tries to apologize through facial expressions, and probably just ends up making her look away by seeming unhinged.

****

When the professor starts lecturing, he can’t focus at all.  He sighs heavily, and picks his phone back up, sending, _lunch?_ to Nursey before he can change his mind.  He gets back an affirmative, and slouches back into his seat, relieved.

****

Dex gets there before Nursey, and stares at his hands while he waits at a table.  He startles when he feels a hand on his shoulder, but of course it’s just Nursey standing over him.  He’s unaffected by Dex’s reaction, and his hand doesn’t so much as twitch.  He’s smiling down at Dex in a slightly hesitant way that makes him feel unexpectedly guilty, but he just leaves his bag to save the table and gets up to grab food.  He’s starving from skipping breakfast.

****

They sit back down, still not talking, just eating and glancing up at each other every once in a while, occasionally meeting eyes.

****

He’s immediately panicking when it looks like Nursey’s about to say something, and his fears are confirmed when he simply states, “You left.”

****

It’s hard to resist a stupid urge to deny it.  Obviously he left.  

****

“Yeah,” he agrees.  “Sorry.”  He really is sorry, is the thing, but even to his own ears his words sound insincere.

****

“It’s all right,” Nursey assures, offhandedly.  It makes Dex wonder if maybe he understands why; maybe he’s feeling the same thing, or at least just smart enough to recognize it when he sees it in someone else.  This is uncharted territory, terrifying and exhilarating and overwhelming, and sometimes Dex can’t breathe.

****

Nursey looks at him like he sees all of that, and still wants to keep going.

****

So yeah, this might be worth it after all.

  
  


They do dinner that weekend, despite knowing how crowded with students Boston will be. It’s ridiculous; come the weekend, students leave campus in an exodus, wanting to escape the place that seems more like a prison than an educational institution.

****

Dex had asked Nursey to tell him which restaurant they were going to, and Nursey had said that he would tell him if he really needed to know, but preferred to leave it as a surprise.  Dex had caved.  He managed to finagle an opinion about what he should wear, though, and he was reassured when it seemed like he could be relatively casual.

****

When they finally arrive, it’s after almost an hour of sitting too close on a bus with the entire sides of their bodies pressed together.  Dex has felt warm and fidgety the entire time, trying to keep up with a conversation about their classes, about whether or not they might want to hang out in the city after dinner.  Nursey has just gotten into a speech on how they may as well, since they’re spending so much time getting there and going back, when they approach their stop.  Nursey doesn’t notice, so Dex has to reach across him to pull the cord.  It causes him to essentially have to press his arm across Nursey’s chest, and of course as he’s pulling back slowly, he realizes that several other people have also requested a stop, and his move was unnecessary.

****

They get off, Nursey close at Dex’s back until they can reorient themselves on the sidewalk to be walking next to each other.  Nursey is obviously leading, and Dex tries not to wonder how long they’re going to spend lost before they arrive at the restaurant, if they’ll miss their reservation.  This is a thousand times more palpably different from anything they’ve ever done together.  Sure the end-of-year dinner had been nice, and unusual, but it was for the team, and they all enjoyed the novelty of it together.

****

Dex is almost sufficiently distracted by how many times their hands brush, but is entirely conscious of their numerous right turns and subsequent tardiness.

****

“Maybe we want to look up where we’re going?” Dex suggests, gesturing at Nursey’s phone in his pocket.

****

Nursey laughs, and takes it out.  “Yeah, I figured I couldn’t play it off forever.”  Eventually he manages to pull up the correct place, still tilting his phone so the screen is out of Dex’s line of sight, and he turns around to start going back the way that they came.

****

They’re twenty minutes late for the reservation, but Nursey is so smooth and charming enough as he apologizes and shakes hands with the host that nobody complains.  In a weird, disconnected way, it occurs to Dex that he could be jealous in this situation, but he doesn’t feel it at all.

****

The restaurant seems to be a small, family-run Italian place, dimly lit but not over-the-top in terms of expense and formality. It’s much less uncomfortable than they might have worried; only the normal date jitters cloud their experience.

****

Maybe because they’re so obviously far away, they are finally able to talk in a more detached way about their friends, and the team.  It’s weird to find out what oblivious Nursey’s been paying attention to that Dex hasn’t noticed.  But Nursey asks him if Bitty’s been weird, if it’s because Jack and Shitty are gone and does it seem like he talks to both of them way more than Ransom, Holster, and Lardo do?

****

Then he’s back to the version of himself that Dex recognizes, saying that it’s none of his business anyway, that it’s up to Bitty and the rest of them.

****

Dex sees the prices on the menu and wants to roll his eyes, but they’re really not bad.  It makes him wonder if Nursey had already thought about that, since Dex always makes such a big deal about money that it must be obvious he has a complex.  He’s still going to feel bad if they go out again and he pays and it’s somewhere cheap, but Nursey just keeps looking at him out of the corner of his eye like he’s expecting a comment, so he doesn’t say anything about it, just picks a decent-sounding pasta dish.

****

Nursey insists that they need an appetizer, and keeps staring Dex down as he does so Dex still just lets it happen.  Maybe they don’t know how to relate on serious issues without arguing, but maybe this doesn’t count as serious, not yet.

****

The food is really good, and Nursey confesses that he’s been here before, with his parents, and that makes Dex shift uncomfortably until Nursey tells him that he’s much better company.  Getting into talking about their families seems extremely dangerous, like they’re teasing the precarious balance, but Nursey just shakes it up like this hasn’t even occurred to him.

****

He’s awkward and stilted, and Dex should have figured that even someone like Derek Nurse would have issues with his parents.  Apparently, if he’s reading between the lines correctly, even more problems than Dex and his parents have.

****

So he listens as Nursey says more than Dex has ever heard him say at once (though he’s come across Bitty listening intently to what might have been a similar rant.)  It just sounds like Nursey’s family is so _distant_ , and even when Dex is disagreeing with his family, when every bit of liberal ideology that has seeped into his consciousness from Samwell is begging to be let out of his mind and into the conversation, he still feels like they’re connecting when they talk.  Dex’s parents really want to make sure that he’s having a good time at college, trying to help even when they can’t.  They’re frustrating, maybe overbearing, and Dex definitely can’t tell them everything yet, but they try.

****

He thinks about this while Nursey keeps talking with a sense of detachment in his mannerisms.  But Dex resolves to not bring his parents into it or make it about himself; he just tries to sympathize, since he can’t empathize.  When Nursey apologizes for having dominated their conversation, Dex just smiles and shakes his head, unable to figure out how to say he’s glad without making it sound like he’s happy Nursey’s having problems, or something just as terrible.

****

Nursey has his arm stretched out a little along the table, reaching far enough to pick at a snag in the tablecloth, right next to Dex’s left hand.  He twitches involuntarily and finds himself knocking into Nursey’s hand, but neither of them move away.

****

It’s awkward, the way it suddenly seems like it’s Dex’s turn to talk, and he has nothing he wants to say.  Every time he’s about to open his mouth, he comes up with a way that his planned words could be misconstrued, and he makes no moves to follow through on speaking.

****

Maybe it’s keeping all of these things in that makes him do what he does next, which is to blurt out, “How did we end up here?”

****

Which is a thousand times easier to misinterpret than any of the other topics of conversation he’d considered and tossed aside.  It’s also really easy to chirp him for this question, since they obviously got there via bus.

****

Except that Nursey just laughs, openly and honestly, his grin remaining after he’s finished.  His hand is still shaking against Dex’s when he just responds, easily, “I don’t know.  It’s good, though, right?”

****

It _is_ good.  It’s really good.  That’s why they’re both here, holding back the more confrontational parts of themselves, sweating hard at the thought of messing anything up.

****

So Dex smiles back and answers, “Obviously,” even though it wasn’t, at all, for either of them.

****

He rolls his eyes when Nursey insists that they can’t just not get dessert.  Nursey laughs at him instead of seeming annoyed and somehow it doesn’t bother Dex as much as it usually does.  Their hands bump as they both move for a spoonful of tiramasu at the same time.  Dex stares at Nursey’s mouth around the spoon with every bite he takes.

****

It’s when they’re walking around through a nearby park that Dex realizes Nursey has been looking at him almost the whole time.  And as soon as he looks back, Nursey is bringing their hands together.  They’ve obviously been flirting with this move for the entire evening, walking too close to not be linked like this, but Nursey is still searching his face for a reaction and looking like he’s ready for a negative one.  Dex just grips back and tries not to hyperventilate.  

****

This is _weird_ ; there’s no way around it.  Nobody glances at them for more than a second, which was a worry far, far in the back of Dex’s mind, buried deep under all of the concerns that something between the two of them would ruin tonight instead.

****

He also used to only think of holding hands as something guys did to appease women, had never really thought about it in terms of two guys, even after having known Bitty for such a long time.  Dex likes Bitty, has never had a problem with him even though he knows that some of the guys had been worried that he would.  And sure his views are expanding constantly, but this is a place his brain hadn’t really gone until now.

****

It feels ridiculous.  It feels nice.

****

It’s late when they get back on the bus, and they still have an hour before they’re back at the Haus, but Dex is getting tired already.  Testing the waters, thinking that at least _something_ between them has to be him initiating, he lets himself tip sideways enough that he’s kind of leaning on Nursey.  He doesn’t even flinch, just slowly stretches to get his arm out of the way and along the back of Dex’s seat.  They’re being _really_ obvious now, even though it’s the bus that anybody else from Samwell will be on, as well.

****

Everyone on the team had stayed in or had other plans, but Dex knew a lot of people from his classes and figured that Nursey did too, although he didn’t seem concerned.  Usually Nursey’s constant “chill” attitude got under his skin in a bad way, but right now it seemed to be permeating his defenses and keeping him at a similar level of calm instead.

****

It seems like just a few seconds before they get back, which makes Dex pretty sure he’d embarrassingly fallen asleep on Nursey.  Not to mention how rude it feels when he remembers the last time, leaving early in the morning like a one night stand.

****

They walk to the door of the Haus and it’s patently ridiculous that Dex’s nerves are going haywire; the doorway isn’t even when they part ways, since they both live there.

****

Nursey pauses anyway, though, and Dex feels, if nothing else, vindicated for all his panic.  He grabs for Dex’s shoulder and spins him around, and Dex can hear his own heartbeat thudding in his ears when he’s dragged in for a tight hug.

****

It’s undeniably not a bro-hug.  The sides of their faces are touching, and that contact alone is so warm and close that he almost doesn’t realize that they’ve completely trampled over any minimal-contact rules.  Their chests are pressed together, and Nursey has even stepped his feet just inside of Dex’s enough that they’re fully lined up, touching _everywhere_.

****

Dex’s skin tingles; he feels like he’s been lit up.  Eventually he pulls himself together enough to return the gesture, discomfort quickly being overshadowed by anxious elation.  They definitely remain in that position for an obviously more-than-friendly amount of time, and Dex still finds himself wanting to stay exactly like that when Nursey starts pulling away.  The only thing that prevents him from immediately pulling him back is that the breeze of cold air clears his mind just enough for him to remember that all of their friends are probably inside and could walk by any minute.

****

He allows their separation for that reason only, and honestly, he probably could have been convinced to ignore that.  They end up back inside, where a bunch of the guys are crowded around the TV playing Mario Kart.

****

“Dinner,” is the only explanation Nursey gives when they’re asked where they’ve been, which is good, because Dex isn’t even sure he can speak right now.  He walks straight to his room instead, waving Nursey off when he tries to follow, and attempting a reassuring smile to try to prevent anyone from thinking anything out of the ordinary is happening.

  
  


But the next night they’re having a party, which Dex forgets about until there’s a loud knock on his door and Holster’s voice is telling him they need to start getting ready.  He’s been hiding from everyone even after it was way too late to pretend to be asleep, but when everyone’s being rallied for the cause, it’s hard to keep up the charade.

****

It turns out that Nursey has been sent out on errands, so he doesn’t even have a chance to see him and gauge how much he screwed things up between them; he just gets lost in preparations until it feels like no time before the party has already started and he has a drink in his hand.

****

That’s the point at which he looks around for Nursey and finds Chowder instead, who undoubtedly knows exactly what he’s doing.

****

“He’s in the kitchen,” Chowder announces, and Bitty was near enough to realize that Dex hadn’t even asked a question, but then again if anybody would be unsurprised about this, it’d be Bitty.  Hell, maybe Chowder accidentally gave it all away already; it’s hard to imagine that he can keep anything from Bitty.

****

So Dex just admits defeat and follows Chowder’s unnecessarily pointing finger in the direction of the kitchen where, sure enough, Nursey is getting another beer.  It’s relatively uncrowded in there, still loud from the party going on in the main room, but absent enough distractions for most people to use to occupy themselves.

****

Nursey looks up, so Dex finds it in himself to mumble, “Hey.”

****

“Hey,” Nursey replies.  He sounds cheerful enough, but with a touch of apprehension.

****

“I, um,” Dex starts, and then wants to kick himself for sounding so unsure.  He goes all in.  “I’m sorry about last night.  It was just . . . a lot.”

****

“It’s fine,” Nursey dismisses, like he means it.  “It _was_ a lot.”

****

Is that really all it takes?  This seems too easy.  He’s almost lulled into a false sense of comfort, the question he’s been shoving down as much as possible suddenly jumping to the tip of his tongue, _why have we been dating for two weeks without kissing each other?_

****

He knows it’s his own fault, anyway.  Back when they were still too nervous to talk to each other, when they’d both been talking to Chowder, Nursey had mentioned he’d always known he was into guys, and Dex had confirmed the suspicions that he hadn’t really thought about it until now.

****

It’s probably the reason that Nursey hasn’t made a move, unless it’s just because he realized he was wrong, he doesn’t think of Dex like that after all.  That’s kind of the worst thing that Dex can even imagine in this situation, when he realizes he’s so invested in this himself, so serious about it.

****

There’s no good way to ask, though, and he doesn’t.  Nursey looks like he wants to say something, too, and Dex hopes against all odds that it isn’t, _this isn’t working out_.

****

He doesn’t say anything.  He walks a few steps toward Dex, who finds himself suddenly trapped between Nursey and the counter.  He doesn’t mind at all; exit strategies don’t even cross his mind.  If anything, he’s wondering what he can do to stay here forever.

****

His hands end up on Nursey’s shoulders, then slowly over them to clasp behind his neck, and Nursey looks incredibly encouraged as he moves closer still.

****

Then he stops, and Dex barely holds back a complaint, until he hears Nursey start talking again.

****

“You wanna?” he asks, and Dex wants to scoff, but it seems rude at this distance.

****

“Obviously,” he answers instead, which probably has the same effect anyway.

****

“I wasn’t sure,” Nursey explains.  His hands are resting on the counter behind Dex, his arms bracketing him in gently, like he’s giving him every chance to escape.

****

Dex is immediately uncomfortable, but he still admits the truth.  “I was worried one of us might mess it up.”

****

“I was worried you wouldn’t like it,” Nursey whispers, getting closer, and god, yes.  Dex was expecting the tingling of his skin, but the tangible relief is a surprise.  The excitement is still there, and he’s incredibly tempted to just give in.

****

But then he repeats the words back to himself, in his head, and he speaks up again.

****

“You weren’t worried that _you_ wouldn’t like it?”

****

It sounds completely crazy when Dex says it like that.

****

Nursey rolls his eyes like Dex is being somehow ridiculous.  “Of course not,” he declares, and then closes the distance before there’s any chance for further discussion.

****

The first brush of their lips sends a shiver down Dex’s spine.  He’s never felt a kiss in his _bones_ before.  This is uncharted territory.

****

They manage to line up pretty quickly, and Nursey drops his drink from his hands carelessly into the sink in favor of bringing them to Dex’s hips, which is so hot and amazing, and Dex tightens his arms around Nursey’s neck.  He’s been in this position before with other people, but it was nothing compared to this.  Every brush of their lips leaves his skin tingling.  Nursey bites his bottom lip gently and Dex can’t fight a groan.  They’ve barely even started and this is already the best kiss of his life.

****

He parts his legs without even thinking about it, and Nursey is leaning forward as close as he can, so he just goes with it, falls into him completely until he’s suddenly lifting him up onto the counter.

****

Sitting up there, Nursey between his legs, Dex realizes that (if he hadn’t learned anything from Shitty last year) he could consider himself the girl in this situation.  It barely registers in his head past the fact that this is perfect.  He’s caught off guard by the pleasure from their simple movements.  Dex can’t hear much of anything over the pounding of his own blood, the racing of his heart, and the little gasps from Nursey, like he keeps forgetting to breathe.

****

Nursey is driving him crazy, so Dex feels like he can relate.

  
He has a better view of the party without Nursey blocking him, but it doesn’t occur to him to check for anybody walking in.  As a matter of fact, at this new angle, they’ve significantly deepend their kissing, and Nursey has moved his hands to Dex’s thighs, caressing, so Dex can’t really be blamed for not realizing that the cheering and cat-calling coming from the other room is for them.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so glad I finally wrote these two! It was a challenge, not least because I'm super invested, even though I'm a multi-shipper.
> 
> This fic wouldn't be half as good without my wonderful beta Jessica.
> 
> Find me on tumblr as [loveandallthat](http://loveandallthat.tumblr.com/)! I take prompts for tons of fandoms and pairings.
> 
> I appreciate all comments, including criticism.


End file.
